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trust yourself concept - chess pawn with king shadow

Capitalism is driving an epidemic of burnout and disconnect.Burnout is pervasive in our society and continues to be normalised, perpetuated, and exacerbated by grind culture. By definition, grind culture is a mindset that pushes us to keep working harder to be as productive as we can possibly be. So many of us are pushing ourselves so hard to keep up with this race that we’re going beyond our capacity to meet unrealistic deadlines, get that promotion, avoid disappointing others, or to be the best at everything all the time, and it’s driving us to sickness and exhaustion. When seemingly everyone else is overworking and conforming to the grind, it makes it that much harder to go against the grain. We’re left feeling like there’s something wrong with us, feeling ashamed that we’re struggling with exhaustion when others seem to be getting by.I am here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with YOU. It is the system that is messed up. Once you know and truly believe this, you can start re-writing the programming the system has imposed on you your whole life. Then you can start shaping your life to suit your needs, instead of the needs of patriarchy and capitalism.Patriarchy has programmed us to be subservient, people-please, to take responsibility for things we aren’t responsible for, and to seek our worth externally through the things we achieve. So many of us were raised with this achievement-based worth instead of the innate knowledge that we’re worthy just for being. It’s not entirely our parent or guardian’s fault though. It’s the fault of the system that programmed them to raise their kids that way, and so on, back through the generations of our ancestors since the beginnings of agriculture when patriarchy began. This programming is then what the system takes advantage of through shaming and guilt-tripping - manipulating us via the emotions tied up in these core beliefs around our worth and rights, to ensure that we conform and keep working on and on, even when it means compromising our own well-being. We are programmed to ignore the early warning signs of illness and burnout that our bodies try to communicate to us. We are shamed into thinking we have no right to rest with words like “lazy”, which were created by capitalist society purely to make people work harder.Being depressed isn’t lazy. Procrastinating due to mental health or ADHD isn’t lazy. And having burnout sure as hell isn’t lazy. It is our birthright to rest when we need to, and capitalism stripped away the belief that we even have that birthright, many years ago. It stripped it away so that we would feel like we have no right to rest when we need to. So that we would just keep working.The thing is, for Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), the grind hits harder. HSPs are one step ahead of the game when it comes to tuning into our bodies and our surroundings. We feel things more, which is our superpower, but it also means that we’re affected by things more if we don’t have the appropriate protective boundaries in place. HSPs are super-sensors, but in capitalist society we have to be careful not to get worn down, bled dry, and driven to burnout by sensing and absorbing too much of the unnatural intensity that surrounds us. We are more easily overstimulated and we feel the energy of others more intensely. So when we’re in an overpopulated city, trying to commute during rush hour, working in a brightly lit and overcrowded office for too many hours, where everyone is grumpy, dissatisfied, and many are even narcissistic and sociopathic…we HSPs are at our most vulnerable in terms of absorbing our surroundings. It is a toxic environment for everyone, especially HSPs and empaths.As being a HSP is not a recognised, diagnosable “condition” according to western medicine, it is difficult to set boundaries around our well-being in the workplace and be taken seriously. That is, until we get to the point of actual diagnosable physical and/or mental illness. Employers only grant you leave or reduced hours if you have a note from a western medicine doctor. Western medicine operates reactively, rather than preventatively. So we have to get to the point of burnout or some other “tangible” illness before we’re given a doctor’s note to take a leave of absence and rest. In fact, I’ve never even been granted a note like this for saying I have burnout. I had to complete surveys to prove I was depressed and anxious, which are both symptoms of burnout, and actually recognised by western medicine as “worthy” of time off.This leads me to the effect of capitalist regime on our health, in general. The system of capitalism requires the masses to be indoors, without direct natural light, for ALL hours in the day where sunlight is optimally available. (FYI, sitting on the other side of a glass window pane is not true sun exposure!) Sunlight is our primary source of energy and healthy well-being. It is the only reason there is life on Earth at all, after all. We literally need it to sustain us. Yet capitalism prevents us from getting this essential sustenance by insisting we work from 9–5 (or longer). Without optimally timed sunlight exposure we develop all sorts of illnesses that stem from the misalignment of our circadian rhythms - the basis of ALL of our internal cycles. Without alignment of these cycles, our internal environment becomes accommodating of dis-ease. The epidemic of physically and mentally unwell people today is in part due to our disconnect from our natural cycles. Capitalism, grind culture, prevents us from acquiring this necessary and FREE medicine. We must stay at our desks while the sun’s energy blasts away and meanwhile we don’t benefit from it at all. Employers doll up their offerings with benefits packages and bonuses and, if you’re lucky, generous salaries. But you wouldn’t need those health benefits if you weren’t trapped in a system that forces you to ignore your natural rhythms in the first place.But that’s just it. You’re not trapped. You’re just programmed to think that you are. Capitalism wants you to believe that grind culture is the best and only option for your survival, so that you keep being "productive". So that you remain a cog in the lucrative and ever relentlessly growing machine.That was me. I was a pawn in one of the most notoriously patriarchal systems in the world, for 13 whole years: academia. Once the wool was pulled from over my eyes, I had to get out. I said goodbye to a 17-year career in marine biology because I was done with research and done with full-time work. The whole experience burnt me out so brutally I was inspired to help others “see the light” as well. So, here I am. At your service. Ready to help you re-wire and re-write, just like I did.Here’s the thing: You can still exist in a capitalist world without completely buying into it. There are ways to earn enough money to live comfortably without sacrificing your needs. You can truly thrive as a Highly Sensitive Person, even living in a city, and without compromising your need for a fulfilling career. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy. It requires going against the grain, and that takes courage and determination. But once you’re free from grind culture programming, you can start to appreciate the things that really matter in life and you can reconnect and find your centre. You can prioritise your well-being, structure your life around your natural cycles, and feel truly well and happy. You can thrive. But not as long as you keep prioritising work over your own basic needs.Just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't mean it's right.If you’re ready to re-write the narrative and start prioritising your well-being and the things that really matter to you over nonsensical regime, then I’ve got you. I’m in the process of launching my new coaching package: The Burnout Boundaries Blueprint, which is designed specifically so that you walk away with:&nbsp;<ul><li>⁠Confidence and clarity to say no and ask for what you need</li><li>⁠Empowerment to prioritise your happiness and health over work/other responsibilities</li><li>⁠Energy to feel good and do the things you love</li><li>Tools and resources to keep setting and maintaining healthy boundaries around your well-being to prevent burnout in future</li></ul>As it’s new, I already found 3 people to gift this package to for free. Now, I’m offering this package to the next 5 people who contact me at 50% of the true value.That’s $475 + tax (instead of $950 + tax) for:<ul><li>9.5 hours of 1:1 coaching</li><li>30 minutes of additional coaching per month if needed between sessions</li><li>Unlimited email communication between sessions</li><li>Worksheets, meditation recordings, and more</li><li>And unlimited:<ul><li style="list-style-type: none;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: none;"><ul><li style="list-style-type: none;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: none;"><ul><li style="list-style-type: none;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: none;"><ul><li style="list-style-type: none;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: none;"><ul><li style="list-style-type: none;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: none;"><ul style="list-style-type: circle;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: circle;"><li>Validation</li><li>Empathy</li><li>Compassion</li><li>Safe container</li><li>Accountability</li></ul></li></ul></li></ul></li></ul></li></ul></li></ul></li></ul>You can reach out via <a data-mce-href="mailto:coaching@wellnesswithwalls.com" href="mailto:coaching@wellnesswithwalls.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">email</a>, <a data-mce-href="https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithwalls/" href="https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithwalls/">Instagram</a>, <a data-mce-href="https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61568927167654" href="https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61568927167654">Facebook</a>, or the <a data-mce-href="https://wellnesswithwalls.com/contact" href="https://wellnesswithwalls.com/contact">contact page on my website</a>.Take care xo

My Motivation to Coach

Hand holding here in the sunset. I love nature concept

Recently, my gut health took a downturn, reminding me of how intricately connected it is to my trauma, and ultimately to my burnout susceptibility.I’ve been on a gut healing journey for many more years than my burnout recovery. I started having issues with my gut when I was a kid, but no attempts were made to understand the problem, just acceptance that it was there. That’s a fixed mindset situation right there!But I have a growth mindset, so now as an adult, I can’t just accept that there’s something wrong with my health and not try to do everything in my power to figure out how to feel better.&nbsp;It wasn’t until my early twenties that I figured out I have a problem with gluten. By then, so much damage had been done to my gut from gluten exposure that even with this new knowledge, there was much healing still to go.I have learned since eliminating gluten from my life that although physical in their presentation, my gut issues stem from emotional wounds tied to complex trauma.&nbsp;The tissue of the gut wall actually heals itself remarkably quickly. But if the stressors creating the gut wall damage are still present, then it will remain unhealed. Of course. Seems pretty obvious when put like that, doesn’t it?But I don’t mean the stressor of gluten exposure. Emotional stress is also extremely damaging to the gut wall.And recently, the root of my childhood trauma - my father - triggered me once again. The gut symptoms I'd been free from for months returned almost overnight.That was when I started to notice the onset of burnout symptoms, and was once again reminded that when trauma triggers my gut issues to flare up, I am more susceptible to burnout because of the exhausting sympathetic nervous system response, combined with the sudden demand on my energy supply to heal and regain balance, both emotionally and physically.&nbsp;It took me years of sickness, thousands of dollars spent on health-care and supplements, and diligently sticking to a plethora of torturously restrictive diet plans… some of which made me even more unwell… before I finally found the healing modalities I swear by today. It was through these modalities that I first learned the physical ailments in my gut won’t fully heal, as long as:<ul><li style="list-style-type: none;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: none;"><ul><li style="list-style-type: none;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: none;"><ol><li>My trauma remained trapped in my gut area</li><li>My mindset around healing remained negative&nbsp;</li></ol></li></ul></li></ul>To point 1, I healed much of my trauma and saw positive results. If new triggers and trauma arise though, symptoms return. But I did note that they have never once returned as severely as the previous time. So, they actually serve as a reference for my healing progress when they do arise. And this is powerful incentive to protect myself more fiercely than ever from toxic people and potentially triggering interactions/scenarios.And to point 2: I used to believe that my gut would never heal and that my complex trauma would never go away.That kind of defeatist mindset keeps you stuck in illness. That kind of mindset, in my case, was fuelled by all of those years of futile searching for solutions and being sent down rabbit holes by misinformation from various healthcare practitioners…I am a researcher though. I spent 13 years in academia...it had to count for something other than a piece of paper and fancy title! As a biologist, I was trained to be sceptical about information or data presented to me. This helped me navigate all of the misinformation I came across. Albeit with a lot of trial and error along the way. But I used my research skills to embark on the healing journey that eventually got me well.When healing complex trauma and digestive troubles, there is no “silver bullet” solution. Every individual is different: their symptoms and the reasons for those symptoms, amongst other things. But even for each individual, there are nuances to the healing journey that require different approaches. That’s why I would never advocate just one approach.&nbsp;It’s important to find the combination of healing modalities that works best for your needs. The ordering in which you use them is important too. You can’t peel the inner layer off an&nbsp;onion before you’ve&nbsp;peeled off the&nbsp;outer layers. I never would have been so open and receptive to the notion of energy healing before I’d tried somatic healing. And I might never have tried somatic therapy if I’d never done analytical therapy, for example.I’d love to save you all the years and dollars I spent stuck down rabbit holes by sharing with you the healing modalities that really worked, and still work, for me. Of course, everyone is different though, so these might not be the "Fab Five" of modalities for your needs. But at least for me, and hopefully for you, these are five of the things that catalysed the greatest transformations in my well-being.<h3>My Fab Five Modalities for Healing the Gut + Trauma + Burnout Feedback Loop</h3>I try to accompany my analytical therapy with some sort of somatic work, one or multiple energy healing modalities, and coaching.&nbsp;(Yes…for years…I spent ALL of my disposable income, and savings, on healing…Best investment of my life though!)&nbsp;They all have different perspectives, all of which are valuable and each of which appeal to or are able to access different inner children, or energy meridians, or wound roots, or symptoms, that are all affecting your quality of life in combination.<h3>Analytical therapy</h3>is useful for understanding your psyche. My favourite form of this is Jungian dream analysis. It’s also great for getting to know and dialogue with your inner critics. You can work with a Jungian analyst (who are usually registered counsellors, so they’re billable if you have benefits), or you can buy any of Jung's books on dreams and learn to decipher them for yourself, it'll probably just take longer to figure stuff out. You can also do inner critic work at home by yourself, or with a coach. I found the book Freedom from you Inner Critic: A Self-Therapy Approach by Earley &amp; Weiss quite helpful, but I was working with a therapist at the time and advise this type of support for such deep work if you do have trauma. The great thing about dream analysis though is that your psyche will never try to communicate something to you that you're not ready to hear. In other words, it won't surprise you or trigger you in the same way, e.g., EMDR therapy might. It's a much safer option for sensitive people, in my opinion.<h3>Somatic healing</h3>is imperative for releasing trauma from the body. In my opinion, you simply cannot heal trauma in its entirety through analytical therapy alone, there must be a somatic element to release the trauma from the areas of the body that it’s stored in. Whether that’s humming or singing in the shower, dancing every weekend, painting, breathwork, seeing a somatic healer, or whatever appeals…the release of trauma from the body is a necessary step to heal. To get a better understanding of this concept if it's new to you, the best book I can think of is The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk.<h3>Energy healing</h3>is in the same vein as somatic healing. Energy gets trapped in various centres around the body and needs to be released, slowly and carefully. My favourite forms of energy healing are craniosacral, acupuncture, and working with energy healers who can assist in shifting and even drawing out unwanted energy. At home, I also perform energy cleanses regularly through visualisation meditations, smudging, crystal work, cold plunges, sound baths, and so on. I highly recommend starting with analytical and somatic work if the notion of energy healing doesn't resonate for you at this time. It's something I could only access in its entirity, or in my awareness, once I was more open to it after doing a lot of the other two.<h3>Coaching</h3>is different because instead of deep diving into the past, it focuses on the present and future. Coaching is a great compliment to other modalities, because while you’re releasing the old via all the trauma healing, you’re also inviting in the new by setting goals and focusing on your desires for your future, which builds momentum and uplifts your mindset. Having a supportive, empathetic, trauma-informed coach to guide you and hold you accountable is so important for this work. A sensitive coach will know exactly how much to push you outside your comfort zone to achieve growth, without overwhelming you. They will empower you to walk the path of your authentic healing journey, at the pace that’s right for you. You can get started on your own though, e.g. by journalling positive, present-tense statements about being well. Picturing yourself in the future, feeling well and fully healed, is a powerful visualisation practise that can shift your mindset and catalyse your healing.<h3>Quantum Living</h3>is a “protocol” or lifestyle-shift that really changed everything for me. That is, circadian synching: my days are structured around the rise and fall of the sun. It includes:<ul><li style="list-style-type: none;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: none;"><ul><li style="list-style-type: none;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: none;"><ul><li>Setting an intention as I watch the sunrise each morning</li><li>Ensuring ample time outside in natural sunlight at optimal times</li><li>Eating at the times where my body is most ready to receive food</li><li>Omitting blue light in the hours leading up to bedtime</li><li>Drinking structured mineral water</li><li>Regular cold plunging/cold exposure</li><li>Red Light Therapy</li><li>Eating whole foods, intuitively</li><li>Making sure I’m in bed for at least 8 hours a night</li><li>Fasting intermittently for 12–14 hours each night</li></ul></li></ul></li></ul>As a result:<ul><li style="list-style-type: none;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: none;"><ul><li style="list-style-type: none;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: none;"><ul><li>I have more energy throughout each day</li><li>I no longer have chronic fatigue (which I had from long-COVID)</li><li>My resilience to burnout has increased</li><li>I no longer have systemic inflammation</li><li>My overall mindset is more positive and optimistic than ever</li><li>My hormone cycles are balanced and timely, so no more PMS!</li><li>I can sleep through the night, for the first time ever</li><li>My gut health is finally on a steady upward trajectory</li><li>My emotions are no longer dysregulated</li><li>I bounce back much quicker from emotional triggers</li><li>I can do more of the things I love&nbsp;</li><li>My confidence is higher than ever</li><li>I’m physically fitter and stronger than ever</li><li>My self-love is deeper than I'd ever known</li></ul></li></ul></li></ul>I could really go on and on. I'm blown away myself by all the collateral side effects of Quantum Living that I never could have anticipated. I originally started it to overcome chronic fatigue from long-COVID and the associated burnout. It has been the first thing to actually relieve me from that! But there have been so many more bonuses along the way. You can get started with it yourself by downloading the Circadian app (it's free!) so that you know what time the sunrise is. Emotional triggers are likely to happen, that’s unavoidable really. When they do, it’s important that we feel well-resourced and have a strong, supportive network to get us through hard times and to stay regulated.&nbsp;When my trauma is triggered, so are my gut symptoms, then follows burnout if I don't use my toolbox of resources to take the right care of myself (I’ll talk about this connection in more depth the next time I write about this topic).&nbsp;If you’re feeling stuck in the cycle of triggerings, physical health conditions, and consequent emotional burnout...If you're feeling trapped in your current lifestyle by financial responsibilities...If you're feeling unable to see a way out... Know that you can get out of the cycle. It just might be that you need more support than you’re currently getting, or a different kind of support. It’s really hard to get out of a rut on your own when you’re already depleted.&nbsp;But I know you can reclaim your life, your energy, and your well-being.I hope that sharing my favourite healing modalities for the gut-trauma-burnout loop is helpful for you. If you’d like to know more, please reach out, I’d love to connect. You can <a data-mce-href="mailto:coaching@wellnesswithwalls.com" href="mailto:coaching@wellnesswithwalls.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">email</a> me, message me on <a data-mce-href="https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithwalls/" href="https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithwalls/">Instagram</a>, or schedule a free <a data-mce-href="book.wellnesswithwalls.com/strategy-session" href="book.wellnesswithwalls.com/strategy-session">20-minute coaching consultation</a>.I am a trauma-informed coach, and I have been in your shoes. I know what it takes to recover from emotional burnout. That's what inspired me to create my unique BLISS Coaching Method:Being over doing: Re-writing the narrative around self-worth being tied to what you achieve.Loving yourself first: Re-programming the core beliefs that have you prioritising work or others’ needs over your own well-being.Intentional living: Introducing more of what you love to do into your habitual routine so that all of your needs are fulfilled and all of your values are upheld.Setting healthy boundaries: Learning to protect yourself, your health, and your happiness, unapologetically.Synchronising with the sun: Introducing, implementing, and integrating Quantum Living into your lifestyle. It's hard to hold yourself accountable to stick with all this personal growth work, especially when under-resourced. That's probably the most important role of a coach, the accountability. As well as the support, encouragement, and wealth of knowledge and experience. They get it.So, I’m here for you if you feel called to reach out.In the coming months, I’ll be sharing more on the bidirectional relationship between the gut and mental well-being, and exploring leaky gut syndrome and how an imbalanced microbiome can sneakily perpetuate your burnout cycle without you realising.If any of that piques your interest, stay tuned!Take care, and rest well, always.Xox<figure id="figure-1xovni3cbhm22q6sw4"><img id="1xovni3cbhm22q6sw4" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/6Lc2CWZevDd036XktM0StlGdOeWZCcRvvlAAngkvlrQLr3nHCVpC1kMYkcPrKwS3.jpg" alt="two women sitting beside table and talking" title="two women sitting beside table and talking" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 50% 20%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="20%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/6Lc2CWZevDd036XktM0StlGdOeWZCcRvvlAAngkvlrQLr3nHCVpC1kMYkcPrKwS3.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 50% 20%;"></figure>

My Fab Five Recovery Catalysts for the Gut-Trauma-Burnout Loop

Guilt is a massive driver of burnout among those of us who were programmed to people-please and take responsibility for the well-being of others.I feel compelled to write about guilt and how it contributes to our susceptibility to burnout as I go through the motions of the aftermath of Winston, my dog, having another seizure recently. Every time, my inner critic tries to find ways to blame me for his seizures and find fault in the way that I care for him. He was diagnosed with idiopathic epilepsy earlier this year, which means there’s no particular cause for his seizures that shows up in any of the regular screenings the vet can do for it.In the case of epilepsy, you’re supposed to keep a seizure log and mark down all the different factors surrounding the seizure, like his medication dose, anything different he’s been exposed to recently, time of day, and so on. The only correlation I can see between his seizures is that there seems to be a significant change in air pressure overnight, then the seizure always happens first thing in the morning. That, and the fact that I have been processing something emotionally heavy in the weeks leading up to it…Neither of these things are actually the cause of Winston’s seizures. Sure, they might contribute to whatever it is that’s going on. But the seizures are cyclical and they don’t happen every time there’s a change in air pressure, or every time I’m dealing with a life problem.Yet, the day that it happened, I spent hours in inner dialogue with my guilt-tripper inner critic, trying to convince it (i.e. myself) that “it wasn’t my fault”. I got there eventually, but wow did it put up a fight!I realised afterwards how draining the entire experience had been.That being said, it was far less draining than it would have been several years ago when I was completely unaware of my critic, let alone how to dialogue with it. Back then, the critic would drive me into a multi-day spiral, disrupting my sleep, work, confidence, and so on. This sometimes even led to emotional burnout or a period of low mood or depression that would last even longer.And yes, it is tiring to hear the critic wittering on like it does. But my guilt tripper critic has gotten quieter over the years of conscious awareness and practice countering it.The guilt-tripper critic is common. It’s an internalised version of, in my case, my guilt-tripping parents. It guilts me much more overtly and harshly than even they ever did though. That’s because this critic’s role has always been to protect me from my parents’ guilt-tripping, by guilting me into taking whatever action was required to prevent them ever needing to guilt me in the first place.&nbsp;More broadly, the guilt-tripper critic, like all inner critics, is stuck in the past. It’s essentially beating you up for something you already did, or for being a certain way that others won't approve of. It focuses on mistakes and ruminates on all the consequences of those mistakes. It is highly concerned with the well-being of others, the underlying belief being that the well-being of others is more important than your own. Therefore, the guilt-tripper will try to guilt you into sacrificing your own needs in order to meet the needs of others.Feeling Guilt = Taking ResponsibilityWhen we feel guilty about something, it’s because we’re taking responsibility for it. Often, that responsibility is not even ours to take. We are only responsible for ourselves and our dependents, such as children or pets. We are not responsible for the well-being of our other loved ones, friends, co-workers, and so on. Yet, so many of us take responsibility for the well-being of those around us, e.g. believing their bad mood must be because of us.Feeling Unwarranted Guilt = Our ProgrammingFeeling guilt around the well-being of others is typical if we were programmed early in life to believe that the well-being of others is our responsibility. I was programmed by both of my parents to believe that their contentment or well-being was my responsibility. I therefore spent a lot of my life feeling guilty when they were displeased, until I learned as an adult, through therapy, that I had actually been parentified by my mum and abused by my father, and that actually, their mood or well-being is not my responsibility at all.Parentification Programs GuiltParentification can be instrumental and/or emotional. Instrumental parentification is where the child assumes a role of responsibility within the family, such as taking care of their sibling/s or a sick parent. Emotional parentification is when the child provides emotional support to their parent/s (which they should have been getting from their parents, not the other way around). Emotional parentification includes things like the parent treating their child like a therapist, over-sharing their problems and dumping their concerns on them, and the child consoling or advising the parent. It also includes using their child as a confidante, a messenger between other family members, thereby involving them in family drama irrelevant to the child, as some kind of mediator.&nbsp;So, because I was programmed this way, when my beloved Winston had a seizure and one of the only two explanations I could muster happened to be that he was feeding off my negative energy…I spiralled into self-blame and momentarily beat myself up for all the things I could, or “should” have done to protect him.This type of emotional spiralling is not only completely exhausting but also completely unhelpful and therefore an utter waste of valuable energy.But that energy can be saved if the spiral is avoided altogether, or at least, nipped in the bud.I struggled with it this time because I was unwell already and therefore under-resourced. That’s an important thing to note: progress with your inner critics is not linear. Had I not been unwell for three weeks in a row, perhaps I’d never have spiralled at all.It’s possible to nip a guilt spiral in the bud because you can catch your guilt-tripper by noticing some of the common statements it might be making.The first step towards acheiving this is gaining awareness of your critic when it rears its ugly head.<h3>What to listen out for when you’re spiralling with guilt</h3>Here are some common generic phrases the guilt-tripper critic might be saying to you:“After everything he’s done for you, you owe him”“It’s your fault”“You could have done more to prevent this”“If you didn’t do X, then Y would never have happened”“They’re suffering because of you”“How could you do this?”“They’ll never forgive you”“You’re selfish”“You’re a spoiled, ungrateful brat”These statements can also be referred to as core beliefs.Core beliefs are beliefs that were ingrained deeply into our psyche early on in life, and have played a part in shaping who we are today.But core beliefs can be rewritten.&nbsp;They are just particularly strong neural pathways. New neural pathways are created all the time. The more you use new pathways in your brain and avoid using old ones, the weaker the old ones get, and the stronger the new ones get. Your brain will always try to take the path of least resistance, so the new belief system will eventually become the more habitual one.<h3>Ways to catch and work with your critic</h3>If you’re feeling in your power, safe, and resourced, you might like to try the following.&nbsp;However, if you’re feeling vulnerable to any potential emotional triggers, I suggest saving this kind of work for a one-to-one session with a professional, e.g. a trauma-informed coach, somatic healer, or therapist.My suggestion for those who feel centred in their power is to read each one of the above common guilt-tripper statements, slowly, and notice how you feel as you do. If you feel a visceral response to one in particular, go with that one.If you’re unsure why you’re having the visceral response to a specific statement above, sit with it, with eyes closed. Focus on the sensations and emotions that arise, and notice if any images come to mind. Often these images might indicate either the root or present-day trigger. Then you can go from there.The next step would be to try to re-write that statement more specifically to the context that it’s relevant to.For example, in the context of Winston’s seizure, I would choose “if you didn’t do X, then Y would never have happened”. And I would make that more specific by re-writing it as “if I had continued with weekly energy healing sessions then Winston wouldn’t have had another seizure”.The third step is to come up with a realistic counter-statement. I must emphasise realistic, as in, realistic to you. If you don’t believe the counter-statement at least a little, then it won’t resonate as strongly or be as powerful. So, for example, I could counter the statement I just wrote out with “even the vet agrees that there’s no obvious trigger for Winston’s seizures, and there’s no evidence to suggest that energy healing would have prevented this one anyway”. I could also counter it with "it's not my fault" but my brain prefers my counter-statements to be a bit more specific.The more often you can catch your critic in action and counter it on the spot, the stronger your new narrative will become and the weaker the critic’s narrative will become.Finally, the best way to overcome guilt is to vocalise it. If you don’t have someone you feel safe sharing your thoughts and feelings with, try journaling about it.&nbsp;If you do have someone you feel safe to share with though, then voicing your guilt to another person can truly take away its power.<figure id="figure-ay44eikzqm1dp98t0"><img id="ay44eikzqm1dp98t0" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1414798527/photo/young-man-comforting-and-supporting-a-sad-woman-who-is-in-serious-trouble-at-home-consolation.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=OFNVSWs5szU1Cam0Vpxa2eyXO0CBtQA5qP7fTugQ5Dc=" alt="Young man comforting and supporting a sad woman who is in serious trouble at home, Consolation and encouragement concept" title="Young man comforting and supporting a sad woman who is in serious trouble at home, Consolation and encouragement concept" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1414798527/photo/young-man-comforting-and-supporting-a-sad-woman-who-is-in-serious-trouble-at-home-consolation.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=OFNVSWs5szU1Cam0Vpxa2eyXO0CBtQA5qP7fTugQ5Dc=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>Of course Winston’s seizure wasn’t my fault! Of course more regular energy healing sessions weren’t guaranteed to prevent another seizure. Of course the entire scenario was outside of my control.But when we’re in a spiral, it’s not that clear.And the thing is, there are always going to be triggers in life. You cannot live in a bubble and guarantee a trigger-free life. That just wouldn’t be…life!What you can do though is maximise your self-awareness so that when the triggers do arise, you either catch yourself mid-spiral, or better yet, with time and practice you notice in the moment and prevent that spiral altogether.And in the long-run, this is going to save you a&nbsp;lot of energy and reduce your risk of emotional burnout.Don’t try to "get rid of" your critic altogether though. It is a part of you and it’s only trying to help. I wasted so much energy over several years trying to get rid of mine before realising that. If you can learn to love and even feel gratitude for your critic/s good intentions, they’ll learn to relax and get quieter over time.But these things don’t happen overnight.If you need support, I’m trauma-informed but I’m a coach, not a therapist. If you have a lot of unprocessed trauma, the notion of this work likely feels daunting. In which case, I strongly suggest working with a trauma-informed therapist on this as it tends to be very nuanced.If you feel safe doing this work but would like support moving forward because you’re feeling stuck, or you're feeling like your critics could be contributing to your burnout, then don’t hesitate to reach out.You can send me an <a data-mce-href="mailto:coaching@wellnesswithwalls.com" href="mailto:coaching@wellnesswithwalls.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">email</a>, message me on <a data-mce-href="https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithwalls/" href="https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithwalls/">Instagram</a>, or <a data-mce-href="book.wellnesswithwalls.com/strategy-session" href="book.wellnesswithwalls.com/strategy-session">book a free 20-minute strategy session</a> with me.Take care xo<figure id="figure-ck1ot83w7lm1dpkam5"><img id="ck1ot83w7lm1dpkam5" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/16QBM5s8JWYG9aNScCKt1vTOxqT0YtHTCYOLEMIlvBDFX3pQhTpqWMytkFeLb9jD.jpg" alt="person sitting in a chair in front of a man" title="person sitting in a chair in front of a man" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 50% 80%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="80%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/16QBM5s8JWYG9aNScCKt1vTOxqT0YtHTCYOLEMIlvBDFX3pQhTpqWMytkFeLb9jD.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 50% 80%;"></figure>

Guilt and Burnout

Woman on trail admiring the sunset with clouds and fog.

As with any diagnosis, there is a very broad spectrum of presentation when it comes to ADHD. I speak from the standpoint of someone with ADHD that shows up predominantly as “inattention”, or as I like to think of it, internalised cognitive hyperactivity. As opposed to tangible, physical hyperactivity. (Although I do sometimes have that too).&nbsp;This type of ADHD presentation is more common in women, and more likely to have been missed by western medicine until recent years. Hence the sudden upsurge in diagnoses of adult ADHD over the past decade or so since its recognition.<a data-mce-href="https://www.additudemag.com/what-is-adhd-symptoms-causes-treatments/" href="https://www.additudemag.com/what-is-adhd-symptoms-causes-treatments/">ADDitude</a> defines ADHD as:“ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) is a neurological disorder that impacts the parts of the brain that help us plan, focus on, and execute tasks. ADHD symptoms vary by sub-type — inattentive, hyperactive, or combined — and are often more difficult to diagnose in girls and adults”&nbsp;(To learn more about ADHD and whether you might have it, check out their free online <a data-mce-href="https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-symptoms-test-adults/" href="https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-symptoms-test-adults/">quiz</a> and plethora of other resources)But, for the record, I don’t personally believe that ADHD should be called either attention “deficit” or a “disorder”.&nbsp;I’ll keep referring to it as ADHD for now though, for ease of communication.For one, people with ADHD actually have an ability to hyperfocus that is not unlike a superpower…it just requires the topic of focus to be of genuine interest and even excitement to the individual.&nbsp;Secondly, having a certain brain type in and of itself is not a disorder, or disability, as western medicine still inappropriately labels it. Rather, it is the inaccessibility of our surroundings that creates “disability”.&nbsp;I like the explanation I came across in a podcast when I first got diagnosed and went down the rabbit hole of self-education on all things ADHD:&nbsp;The ADHD brain is like that of a hunter-gatherer. Whereas, the neurotypical brain can be likened to that of a farmer.Hunter-gatherers need to think and act quickly and impulsively, handle extreme and potentially deadly situations quickly and calmly, be hypervigilant and attuned to their surroundings, see the bigger picture while also having the ability to focus on the minutia, and so on. Whereas farmers need to be strategic, organised, thinking longer-term, with a plan and lots of patience to see it through. Just because people with ADHD have a different type of brain, which the structure of modern society is not designed to accommodate, doesn’t make it a disorder. It makes societal expectations out of alignment with an otherwise perfectly functional (and often incredible!) brain type. Our school systems and our capitalist 9-5 work schedules: they do not nurture this type of brain.&nbsp;Our rigid, inflexible societal systems and expectations are the problem, not our brains.This fact alone, that society is not set up in our favour, makes life more exhausting for people with ADHD. But here, I’m going to touch on some other aspects of ADHD that contribute to the higher correlation that we have with susceptibility to burnout.Again, I’m speaking from the perspective of an ADHDer with cognitive hyperactivity and high sensitivity. I’m not speaking for those on the other end of the ADHD spectrum, who might not have high sensitivity or cognitive hyperactivity at all.&nbsp;In fact, I’d love to hear from them how their experience compares :)So, from my perspective, here’s a list of examples of why having ADHD can contribute significantly to burnout susceptibility:Cognitive Hyperactivity<ul><li>Anxiety, hypervigilance, worrying, rumination, obsessive-&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;compulsion</li><li>Sleep issues, e.g.:<ul><li style="list-style-type: none;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: none;"><ul><li style="list-style-type: none;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: none;"><ul><li>Lighter sleep</li><li>Vivid dreams that wake you</li><li>Trouble falling asleep/staying asleep</li></ul></li></ul></li></ul></li><li>Never being able to switch off, difficult to just be instead of do</li></ul>Inattention<ul><li>Procrastination might seem “lazy” but it’s actually mentally exhausting</li><li>Takes a lot more energy to focus and get shit done</li><li>Task switching is more taxing</li><li>Difficult to complete tasks even with the best of intentions, unless super interested in them</li><li>Need to fidget/stim to focus, e.g. during meetings (think: Zoom fatigue)</li></ul>High Sensory Sensitivity<ul><li>Photosensitivity, e.g. fatigue from blue light toxicity</li><li>Sound, e.g. hard work to filter out background noise</li><li>Discomfort causes vigilance, e.g. clothing labels digging in, etc.</li></ul>High Emotional Sensitivity<ul><li>Transitioning between two paradigms takes longer</li><li>Takes longer to recover from change/life events/disturbances/emotions</li><li><a data-mce-href="https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/" href="https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-and-adhd/">Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria</a> can cause emotional exhaustion, e.g.:<ul><li style="list-style-type: none;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: none;"><ul><li style="list-style-type: none;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: none;"><ul><li>Fear of how others perceive you</li><li>Anticipatory anxiety</li><li>Perfectionism</li></ul></li></ul></li></ul></li><li>Broader emotional spectrum, more ups and downs throughout the day&nbsp;</li><li>Correlated with trauma, triggerings are draining </li></ul>Hyperactivity<ul><li>Periods of unrest eventually lead us to crash, often super hard</li><li>Always fidgeting can create tension and pain in muscles and tissues</li><li>Repetitive actions and habits can affect joints over time</li></ul>…and I’ll stop there for now :) <h3>My Top Tips to THRIVE with ADHD and High Sensitivity</h3>I have a lot of tools and coping mechanisms that I’ve incorporated into my daily existence so that now I’m thriving in a way I never thought possible before my diagnosis. I’m going to share my top 15 of them with you now because I think everyone should know how to help themselves (even if they might not have capacity to at this moment in time).&nbsp;These tools are all centred around the ultimate goal: to boost happy brain chemicals. One major element of ADHD is that we don’t produce enough of the brain chemicals that keep us focused, satisfied, motivated, etc. Mainly dopamine and serotonin. That’s why we exhibit dopamine-seeking behaviour, i.e. always chasing new and shiny experiences. This can lead to self-medication, addiction, and other habits that don’t serve our overall well-being.&nbsp;But it’s possible to shape our daily routine so that we give ourselves the best possible leg-up to produce those brain chemicals naturally and therefore not require those seeking behaviours to find fulfilment. Because let’s face it, unhelpful behaviours are not sustainable solutions.&nbsp;Here are 15 ways to achieve optimal brain-chemical balance every day: 1. &nbsp; &nbsp;MeditatingRegular mindfulness meditation is my absolute favourite strategy for improving presence, focus, patience, self-compassion, and quietening the mind. These are all super important skills for anyone to cultivate, especially ADHDers. The key is finding the type of mindfulness practise that works for you. If focusing on your breath doesn’t work, try focusing on something that is always changing, like a body scan, the different sounds you can hear around you, or the sensations of having a shower.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;&nbsp;2. &nbsp; &nbsp;Exercising&nbsp;It goes without saying that exercise helps reduce physical hyperactivity. But if I don’t do at least ten minutes of exercise each morning, my brain will also be discombobulated all day. Just ten minutes of movement and my brain is set up for success, all day long. Again, the key is finding the type of movement that you enjoy, so that you’re more likely to stick with it regularly. 3. &nbsp; &nbsp;Establishing a morning routine&nbsp;Establishing a morning routine that works for me was one of the biggest game changers of my life. I learned that my brain might require a different approach from what I’d been led to believe was “the norm” and once I figured out a routine that worked for me, I honestly began to flourish. 4. &nbsp; &nbsp;Organising your spaceSame goes for organising your space. A chaotic space feeds a chaotic mind. I found this YouTube channel <a data-mce-href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3r4TJN6_Bvc" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3r4TJN6_Bvc">Clutterbug</a> super helpful for figuring out what type of organisation works best for me – so that I actually stick to it. She’s also an ADHDer, so she gets it :) 5. &nbsp; &nbsp;Spending ample time in nature and grounding into EarthMy high sensitivity means I require a LOT of time away from city energy, noise pollution, light pollution, etc. Living in a city is like a constant sensory assault. Being in nature is an escape. Absorbing Earth’s negative charge, and being present, is one of my favourite pathways to nervous system regulation. 6. &nbsp; &nbsp;Disconnecting from EMF and devicesHaving my phone in airplane mode when it’s on my being and at night, switching my Wi-Fi router off at night, keeping my phone away from my bed and my laptop outside my room…making sure my phone isn’t always sitting there in my peripheral vision as a subconscious reminder to check it…these are all examples of tools for disconnection that I rely on daily. 7. &nbsp; &nbsp;Optimising your sleep spaceI live in a wooden apartment building on a busy road, across the street from the Skytrain in Vancouver. It’s noisy, and there’s a street light right outside my window. And like many ADHDers, I’m a light sleeper. I splurged on <a data-mce-href="https://vancouvercustomearplugs.com/" href="https://vancouvercustomearplugs.com/">custom-made earplugs</a> and <a data-mce-href="https://www.thehues.com/soundproof-curtains/" href="https://www.thehues.com/soundproof-curtains/">sound-proofing, black-out curtains</a> and it really helped a lot. 8. &nbsp; &nbsp;Listening to binaural beats and brain entrainment tracksI use the free app <a data-mce-href="https://insighttimer.com/en-ca" href="https://insighttimer.com/en-ca">Insight Timer</a> regularly. There are tons of recordings on there that entrain your brain to the frequency of your choice. For focus, you want your brain to be in low beta, so about 12–15Hz is usually good. Just search “focus” within music and you’ll hit gold. 9. &nbsp; &nbsp;Optimising food qualityCheck out Uma Naidoo’s book, <a data-mce-href="https://umanaidoomd.com/pages/this-is-your-brain-on-food" href="https://umanaidoomd.com/pages/this-is-your-brain-on-food">This is Your Brain on Food</a>. Each chapter refers to a different brain condition and which foods exacerbate or help it. There’s obviously a chapter on ADHD. Food colourants and refined sugar are a no-go for me since reading this incredibly insightful piece. 10. Reducing or eliminating alcohol and weed intakeOof, if you want to exacerbate your ADHD symptoms to their absolute maximum potential, then alcohol and weed are a fast track to cognitive dysfunction, and not just while under the influence, in the days surrounding too. Also, the recovery from both would take days or even more than a week for me. Not worth it at all. 11. Switching careersSeveral months after my diagnosis I couldn’t ignore how inappropriate my research position was for me. The procrastination drove me to despair, daily. Constant spiralling, and getting nothing done for weeks on end. I quit. I took some time to figure out an alternative path. I chose a job that aligns with my values, allows flexible hours, and provides lots of dopamine throughout the day. 12. Omptimising the hours you workWorking part-time allows me the amount of time I require to be in nature to regulate my nervous system every day. That’s non-negotiable for me. If you can't afford to work part-time, you can request to work your hours at a time that's optimal for your brain and body...which isn't necessarily 9-5! it might be later, earlier, or even broken up into chunks. I told my employer about my ADHD so they accommodated my needs and allowed me to work the hours that felt best and most productive for me. 13. MicrodosingThis is a great way to increase focus, productivity, and happy brain chemicals when done safely and with the correct guidance. I may never have finished my PhD thesis without this tool…who knows… It also helps you to tap into your creativity and overcome perfectionism, if that’s an issue for you. 14. Synchronising with your Circadian rhythmsI sky gaze to the east at sunrise, bask in the mid-morning sun, wear colour lenses to filter out toxic blue light, drink predominantly structured water, do 10 minutes of red light therapy every morning, cold plunge at least once a week, listen to affirmations every morning, and keep a positivity diary. This is all part of quantum living and it’s the absolute KEY to why I’m doing so well today. 15. Working with a professional who “gets it”Does this all sound like impossible work? My coach <a data-mce-href="https://www.angelaprider.com/" href="https://www.angelaprider.com/">Angela Prider</a> helped me mostly with points 3, 4, and 7. My occupational therapist <a data-mce-href="https://www.mindfulmountainswellness.com/team/kristen-gilbert" href="https://www.mindfulmountainswellness.com/team/kristen-gilbert">Kristen Gilbert</a> helped me with points 5, 6, and 14. I addressed the more challenging emotional issues with Angela and other therapists, including <a data-mce-href="https://groundingstonehealing.com/veronika-sztopa" href="https://groundingstonehealing.com/veronika-sztopa">Veronika Sztopa</a>. The rest I figured out from advice over the years, intuition, and independent research. I didn’t get to where I am on my own. If any of this resonates, I’d love to hear from you!&nbsp;Reach out via <a data-mce-href="mailto:coaching@wellnesswithwalls.com" href="mailto:coaching@wellnesswithwalls.com">email</a> or <a data-mce-href="https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithwalls/" href="https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithwalls/">social media</a> if you have any questions or to let me know what your go-to coping mechanisms are. I always love to learn from others and add to my ever-growing toolbox!&nbsp;If you need support, I’m also here for you. My coaching programs incorporate a lot of this sort of self-care and routine building, even if you don't have ADHD.Take care xoIf you’re feeling drained but don’t feel like you have time to rest or sit through a 30-minute coaching session, consider starting smaller. Try my FREE guide that includes 15 energy-boosting hacks that only take up 5 minutes of your day, or less!&nbsp;<a data-mce-href="http://learn.wellnesswithwalls.com/energy-hacks-opt-in" href="http://learn.wellnesswithwalls.com/energy-hacks-opt-in">Download it here for FREE.</a>

Beating Burnout: 15 Tips for ADHDers to Thrive

Psychology concept. Sunrise and woman silhouette head

Long-COVID is still poorly understood four years into the pandemic, with few resources available to inform on treatment plans and expectations for recovery.&nbsp;As a result, millions of people are suffering in silence, possibly feeling afraid about how long this new paradigm will affect them for, amongst other things.I should know, because I was suffering from long-COVID for over two years.You might be wondering why I’m writing about long-COVID in a Burnout Blog. Long-COVID, at least how it showed up for me, was like the worst burnout you could ever imagine. A lot of the healing from long-COVID is also relevant to burnout recovery. But perhaps more pertinently, many people are struggling with burnout since the pandemic for a variety of reasons: emotional, physical, mental…including potentially even having milder long-COVID symptoms themselves, without even realising it.My intention is to share my personal experience of long-COVID so that others experiencing similar symptoms may feel validated and informed. I’ll also share information and modalities that have helped me to heal, which I figured out from months of relentless research…and many dollars’ worth of trial and error.&nbsp;If I can save anyone else that time, money, and angst, then that will be a mission accomplished. My Experience with Long-COVID (Everyone’s is Unique)I never actually experienced any flu-like symptoms from COVID. It wasn’t until day seven of being sick that I was completely floored by fatigue and brain fog to the degree that I couldn’t even stand up for long enough to make myself a cup of tea. My partner at the time had to care for me. They and my friends had to take turns walking Winston (my dog). I was completely incapacitated. Of course, I couldn’t work either.This went on for over a month. It wasn’t until week six that I was able to start looking at screens again for ten minutes or so at a time. Before that, every time I tried to watch a show, or even listen to music, it would exhaust my brain so much that I’d have to rest for hours. One measly song called for four hours of rest! I literally couldn’t do anything but lie there and, at best, listen to a recording of Tibetan singing bowls.During the sixth week, I used the limited capacity I had to look at screens to research remedies for long-COVID.It was disheartening, to say the least.There was almost no information out there. I felt so deflated. The doctor just told me to rest and that they didn’t know what I should do. It felt hopeless.Until I found a website that was run by a lab of scientific researchers who had discovered that treating long-COVID the same way you would treat a Traumatic Brain Injury could significantly accelerate the healing process.This included:- &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Eating foods that are anti-inflammatory and high in anti-oxidantso &nbsp; like oily fish, blueberries, and leafy greens- &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Training your brain with a variety of stimulating exerciseso &nbsp; like the brain training app Lumosity- &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Gentle, regular exerciseo &nbsp; like going for a walk round the park, daily- &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Limiting time looking at screens (or eliminating altogether)o &nbsp; which I had already been forced to do by my symptoms anyway!- &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; Taking supplements to promote toxin clean-up and reduce&nbsp; inflammation in the brain, and promote cellular repairo &nbsp; like L-Glutathione and Lion’s Mane<figure id="figure-j49mw98l4hm05txuo0"><img id="j49mw98l4hm05txuo0" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1299079243/photo/food-for-healthy-brain.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=ZDSj17ysusYrVyVilNV4iXVVIU50WFHE9CNSPsZqDKk=" alt="Food for healthy brain" title="Food for healthy brain" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1299079243/photo/food-for-healthy-brain.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=ZDSj17ysusYrVyVilNV4iXVVIU50WFHE9CNSPsZqDKk=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>I also learned from a different website that one explanation for long-COVID is the over-pruning of synapses in the brain.&nbsp;A synapse is the connection between two nerve cells. It’s where information is passed from one nerve cell to the next along a neural pathway (in a very simplified nutshell!) Synapse pruning is a regular and necessary process in the brain. For example, synapses are pruned when the neural pathway is no longer used. It's like weeding a garden or having a spring clean/clear out. But the usual level of synapse pruning is minimal. Whereas, studies were showing that patients with long-COVID were undergoing mass synapse pruning all at once.No wonder we were experiencing brain fog!A key symptom of brain fog is not being able to make connections the way you usually can. So for example, someone might say a witty joke, which I would typically find hilarious. But when I had brain fog, I just didn’t get the joke at all. Or maybe it would come to me hours, or even days, later.&nbsp;So understanding that my neural pathways were being over-pruned and that that connection was actually being physically impaired on a cellular level, was quite validating.Albeit, also, terrifying.This leads me to what I feel is the most important section of this article... The Peripheral Impacts of Long-COVIDThe symptoms and experiences that are completely overlooked and even shunned by medicine…Long-COVID literally robs you of the lifestyle you had before.In my opinion, it should be considered a disability, just like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. As, at least for me, that’s how it showed up. For two years.There are physical, cognitive, emotional, and mental impacts from having long-COVID. Of course, all of that then means that it impacts your day-to-day, your relationships, your hobbies, your work…everything.Physical&nbsp;I wasn’t able to exercise at all for about four months. It took about six weeks before I was able to walk to my local park – a five minute walk – sit on a log until I regained some energy, then walk the five minutes home again. I built from there by adding small distances week after week.After four months, I started doing five minutes of stretching a day. I built from there. To ten minutes, and so on. I then started to do five minutes of pilates mat workouts for beginners, or workouts designed for people in pain or with injuries, and built from five to ten to fifteen minutes over a matter of months. And the trajectory of this was certainly not linear.&nbsp;If I ever pushed myself too hard (which really did not take much!) I was right back in bed, often for several days, floored with fatigue again. This happened once just from walking to the bank and back (a ten minute walk either way) because I had to stand in a queue for 15 minutes while I was there. Game over.It took over a year before I could consider a hike, dancing, or kick-boxing. I had to re-build my entire fitness from scratch.In addition to this, my digestion was impaired. My brain wasn’t giving my body the signals it needed to know it was time to digest. Which I’ll explain in a sec.Cognitive&nbsp;I wasn’t able to work at all for four months after getting COVID. Even then I returned to work at 20 hours per week and I recall not being able to achieve very much at all. Four hours a day was way too much. I could maybe focus for an hour of that in total.I couldn’t connect the dots, which makes research (my job at the time) near-impossible. I found myself reading and reading a bunch of literature, taking notes, but I wouldn’t recall anything I’d read later that day. It’s like my brain couldn’t store anything either short- or long-term.I eventually had to quit that job and find one that was less mentally challenging.When I started my new job, I went in full-time. This was about 13 months after originally getting COVID. I went into burnout within two months of this (actually, probably sooner, but I’m talking catatonic, apathetic, total wipe-out burnout, two months in). I negotiated with my employer to work part-time and went down to 25 hours a week. This was possible because the job was less mentally challenging than my research position had been.I had to completely readjust my career because my brain wasn’t able to do the things it had been able to do before I got long-COVID. It’s honestly never been the same since, but that’s also in part due to unmasking my ADHD, which I’ll touch on in another article sometime soon (stay tuned if you’re interested!)Despite the fatigue and brain fog, I was physically incapable of sleeping. I got on the wait list for neurofeedback therapy, and when I finally started it about six months into my illness, my neurofeedback therapist explained to me that every time my parasympathetic nervous system (i.e. rest and digest) would switch on, my sympathetic nervous system (i.e. fight or flight) would also switch on.!!!...that’s not good.It’s supposed to be one or the other! Never both at the same time.That’s extremely detrimental for so many reasons I won’t get into here. Except to loop back to the point about digestion: My body was never in rest and digest mode because of this overriding behaviour of my sympathetic nervous system, so I couldn't digest my food properly.Also, every time I started to fall asleep, I would suddenly become agitated and fearful and be back in flight mode. Neurofeedback therapy helped me by training my brain so that my sympathetic nervous system would not switch on at the same time as my parasympathetic. It does this by rewarding your brain for switching into parasympathetic mode, then not rewarding it if the sympathetic also switches on. Your brain eventually learns what the right thing is to do.Emotional and Mental&nbsp;I actually identified earlier this year that the experience of having long-COVID traumatised me. I got a sinus infection this February and was unable to do anything again – very similar to long-COVID – for three weeks. I was so triggered by this, it brought up all the fears again of “will I ever get better?” That might sound melodramatic to some, but when you’ve been in a position before where you’re so sick that you can’t function and you’re being told there’s no solution…your mind goes there. (Well, mine did anyway!) I was terrified I was going to have cognitive disability for life. The triggering from the sinus infection this year highlighted the depths of emotional trauma the entire experience of long-COVID had on me.Not to mention the apathy, procrastination, depression, anxiety, insomnia, dysregulation, and even mania that I experienced in the throes of it.Relationships and Daily LifeDepending on others when you’re not surrounded by safe, nurturing people is tough. I’m an immigrant, my family are in the UK (I’m in Vancouver, BC). I have my chosen family here and where possible, they stepped in to support me during this time. I was never in the habit of asking for help, but long-COVID forced me to lean on others more than ever before.This meant the unveiling of some pretty upsetting truths about some of my “closest” relationships. One of the people I’d believed to be my closest friend, and my partner, both bailed on me. My partner couldn’t take it anymore and just left one day. Needless to say, this person was not my “partner” at all.So the friend I mention stepped up and took over the lion’s share of support with Winston’s walks. Then I noticed it affecting our relationship negatively. I’m very sensitive and highly attuned. When people are dishonest with me (and in this case, I think he was even lying to himself, it wasn’t malicious) – I can tell. I might not be able to identify the issue directly, but I feel it and I can’t ignore that feeling. When I eventually tried to discuss this tension with him, he completely ghosted me.I was hard-wired by my emotionally-unsupportive parents (and culture) to believe that I had no right to ask for help or lean on anyone. This friend might have reinforced that trauma, and that untrue, limiting belief. Fortunately I could see it for what it was and it only served to strengthen the love and trust I had in the friends that did stick around, and in my own intuition.Getting so sick that you depend on those around you for support is certainly an effective way of identifying who your real friends are.<figure id="figure-fgcosju4cwm05tzqeg"><img id="fgcosju4cwm05tzqeg" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/944106416/photo/alzheimer-disease.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=TAYHXv8U32Sv055D9_8w9k6p67scswe8MUKm8WIZWrI=" alt="Alzheimer Disease" title="Alzheimer Disease" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/944106416/photo/alzheimer-disease.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=TAYHXv8U32Sv055D9_8w9k6p67scswe8MUKm8WIZWrI=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>My Path to HealingI tried a number of healing modalities that all helped me to varying degrees. I won’t talk badly of the ones that weren’t so helpful, I’m sure the practitioners meant well and truly believed they could help me. But every patient is different. My favourites, which I still use from time to time, are acupuncture and various other types of energy healing.The absolute winner for me though…I started seeing an occupational therapist to help me shape my routine and lifestyle to accommodate my brain’s newly-emerged needs.This was largely focused around figuring out that I have ADHD during this time as well, which I’ll get into more in another article (stay tuned if you’re interested!)It was through my occupational therapist that I discovered circadian syncing.Circadian syncing is the primary technique that has created lasting improvement in my energy levels. Most other modalities I tried helped to a degree, but I’d have to keep going back for further treatment to top things up. That's not always financially feasible.Syncing my lifestyle with my natural circadian rhythms – with the solar cycle – has had so many knock-on health benefits. Including: - The best sleep quality of my entire life- Hormonal balance- Gut balance- Reduced and often completely absent stress- Emotional regulation- Nervous system regulation - Increased and sustained energy levels …the list goes on, truly.So, there are alternative healing pathways out there that can get you on track to recovery. Or that can help you recover completely. I know when I fall out of synchrony with my circadian rhythms (from recent experience after going to a festival and having three very late nights in a row…) that my system can fall back into disarray. Having strong boundaries around my self-care routine, and maintaining them, is the ticket to feeling healthy, happy, and regulated.If you’d like to learn more about circadian syncing and some of the hacks I’ve learned along my journey for boosting energy and reducing stress, you can follow me on <a data-mce-href="https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithwalls/" href="https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithwalls/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Instagram</a> where I dig deeper into those techniques, general burnout facts, and my personal journey with it all.Circadian syncing is at the core of my BLISS Method, which my <a data-mce-href="https://wellnesswithwalls.com/services" href="https://wellnesswithwalls.com/services" target="_blank" rel="noopener">coaching packages</a> are centred around.If you’re suffering from long-COVID, know that you’re not alone. And that it isn't hopeless. If you’d like to discuss more on that, don’t hesitate to reach out via <a data-mce-href="https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithwalls/" href="https://www.instagram.com/wellnesswithwalls/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">social media</a> or <a data-mce-href="mailto:coaching@wellnesswithwalls.com" href="mailto:coaching@wellnesswithwalls.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">email</a>. I’d love to hear your story or provide any support or insight I can.<figure id="figure-h81554y7um05u0u3i"><img id="h81554y7um05u0u3i" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1403999548/photo/different-thinking-rational-and-irrational-thinking-concept-mental-health-and-problems-with.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=Z3JtQfcqKVGVtaIYX5mUYP-9Fax46Ar17RMIFNLmoMo=" alt="Different thinking, rational and irrational thinking concept. Mental health and problems with memory. Human brain shaped made of jigsaw puzzles inside your head" title="Different thinking, rational and irrational thinking concept. Mental health and problems with memory. Human brain shaped made of jigsaw puzzles inside your head" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1403999548/photo/different-thinking-rational-and-irrational-thinking-concept-mental-health-and-problems-with.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=Z3JtQfcqKVGVtaIYX5mUYP-9Fax46Ar17RMIFNLmoMo=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>

Understanding Long-COVID

Closeup shot of a group of juvenile barn swallow (Hirundo rustica) perched on a wire

I currently have the privilege of barn swallows nesting in my apartment building. They are a beautiful, endangered species of bird that have become very dear to me since nesting in our building repeatedly over the past three years.&nbsp;This Monday, one of their babies died though.&nbsp;Or at least, that’s what I thought had happened when the strata council announced that we ought to avoid the back stairwell for the time being because one of the birds had died.&nbsp;I was fairly distraught, grieving the loss of the baby bird that I had been monitoring for over a month. But I was still able to go about my day fairly normally. Later that evening though, one of my neighbours suggested it might be one of the parent swallows that had died. After that conversation, I was riddled with what could only be described as angst.But why the stronger visceral response to this news update?I learned from a therapist about five years ago that when we very deeply feel sorrow for the plight of another being, it can be because it represents something about our past that was difficult or traumatic for us.&nbsp;In the example she was referring to, I had witnessed a young, underweight black bear foraging by the side of the highway on the way to visit a friend in Ucluelet. I had been excited to see a bear, though somewhat concerned about its weight and air of desperation. When I told my friend I’d seen it, she mentioned its mother had been killed by a car earlier that summer and that it had been fending for itself ever since, and would probably die over the winter…The rest of my trip was spent catatonic! I was unable to get over it for weeks, even. I didn’t understand why at the time, but I learned that the bear’s situation reminded me of something I had been through and so I was empathising with it to the point of experiencing its position, as though I was the bear myself.In the case of the swallow, it’s similar. The connection between both is the notion of a helpless baby animal losing its mother when it still needs her.&nbsp;I lost my mum to triple-negative breast cancer when I was 27.&nbsp;You could argue that a 27-year-old doesn’t “need” their mother anymore, but I did. I had been programmed to feel dependent on her and so I was, at that time. When she died, I wasn’t sure how to move forward. She had been my rock, and now I had to be that for myself.My world did fall apart temporarily, but not perceivably until a year after her death. For that year, I powered through my grief.I buried myself in my work.&nbsp;I didn’t even take a leave of absence. I worked and worked, partied and partied, just carried on with life.&nbsp;Until about a year later, when all of a sudden I just couldn’t do anything anymore. I stopped being able to digest food. I recall my hair being brittle and unhealthy. I lost 18% of my body weight in just 3 weeks and could barely stand. I hadn’t been able to actually do any work for months, despite keeping up appearances. Really all I'd been doing was fretting at my desk all day long like that was somehow an acceptable substitute for working.That was my rock bottom.&nbsp;I literally worked myself to burnout, the worst burnout imaginable, because I didn’t make space for my grief.&nbsp;Every year since, my brain tries to do the same thing: ignore the fact it’s nearly the anniversary of her death, and 2 weeks later, her birthday. July is a difficult month now. Because even if my brain succeeds at ignoring these big days, which it does over and over……my body always remembers.It always catches up with me, somatically.This year has been no exception.I’ve been so busy working a part-time job, while launching my online coaching business, and taking a course in online marketing, amongst some other really fun and exciting new things this summer. I’ve made space for celebrating her life because I learned after about year three of wallowing in grief around these days that when I celebrate her, it is always much better than when I don’t. But despite that, I found myself two weeks after her birthday, riddled with grief again after being triggered by the death of my barn swallow neighbour.It was like my power plug had been pulled and I was wading through thick sludge.It's because I didn’t slow down and make space for my grief, again.Grief never actually goes away. It gets quieter and more manageable, but it’s always there to some extent. It’s not like one day I just won’t care that my mum is gone, a part of me will always yearn for and miss her. She was my best friend for a really long time.It’s important to make space for grief when it needs to come up. Whatever that may look like. It doesn’t have to be tears, sorrow, or anger. It can be gratitude, celebration, or just rest. Or anything else that makes sense for you.But my point is: burying your grief can lead to burnout.&nbsp;Emotional burnout mostly, but it can show up in many ways and trickle into other areas of life and cause other types of burnout as well.&nbsp;That’s what happened to me eight years ago.That’s also what marked the beginning of my healing journey. I’ve been picking up the pieces ever since my rock bottom and building a foundation of tools and resources to dip into whenever I need them.Now, when these times come around (which they do, every year), I feel better resourced. It may still creep up on me and I may still try to mentally ignore it. No one is perfect. I get it right some years, not others. That’s ok. This year, I didn’t get it quite right, but I can reflect on previous years and see that I have still made progress nonetheless. And my recovery, the bounce back, was a lot quicker this year thanks to my ability to read the signs and act on them accordingly.And that’s all we can ask for really. You can’t rush this stuff.Now it’s time to slow down and make some more space for the grief though.It took a beautiful barn swallow passing away for me to be reminded of that this year.The universe always has a way of showing you what you need to see most.If you have lost someone and find yourself burying your grief by working and keeping busy, consider making time to sit with your grief regularly.&nbsp;Yes, it’s bloody hard. It might even require the guidance of a grief counsellor. Or at the very least, some journalling, or the shoulder or ear of a trusted friend or loved one.But I guarantee you that it’s better in the long run than burying it, because then it might manifest as other ailments, including physical illness and burnout, down the line (like it did for me). You might end up with all of that to deal with on top of&nbsp; the grief itself.You deserve time and space to heal, always.You are the most important thing in your life.Take care xo<figure id="figure-lgr868jhislzk6voh0"><img id="lgr868jhislzk6voh0" src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/3bmYBN8X1JaLfOBBH7SPf9UdUHnw8qu4unDNIVWUtxRrCgPPaxgVK2DBL6mGK6Un.jpg" alt="" title="" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-lg md:rounded-xl lg:rounded-2xl" style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 50% 25%;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="1:1" data-caption="Me and Mum on my birthday over 30 years ago" data-positionx="50%" data-positiony="25%" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/blocks/3bmYBN8X1JaLfOBBH7SPf9UdUHnw8qu4unDNIVWUtxRrCgPPaxgVK2DBL6mGK6Un.jpg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 1/1; object-position: 50% 25%;"><figcaption class="body-normal text-gray-500 mt-2">Me and Mum on my birthday over 30 years ago</figcaption></figure>

Blog

My Motivation to Coach

My Fab Five Recovery Catalysts for the Gut-Trauma-Burnout...

Guilt and Burnout

Beating Burnout: 15 Tips for ADHDers to Thrive

Understanding Long-COVID

Grief and Burnout